Say hello to the bad guy:part 2

If you want to know WHY I am the bad guy you can read part 1 here

In my last post I mentioned that I had to teach my son about choices and consequences. He made a poor decision and much to his dismay, he had to endure the consequences for those actions.

He was undoubtably wrong in choosing to defame the wall of his father. But what did he immediately do?

He blamed!

All he knew was he got in trouble, so he blamed his father for being the bad guy! His father must have wanted him to get a spanking, his father wanted him to be in time out. His father was being mean and bad by disciplining him.

The fact that he made a wrong choice was overshadowed by the consequence of it.

He forgot it was his poor judgement that put him in that place.

He FAILED to take responsibility! I know I know he’s three he has much to learn. How can we relate?

You see, it’s not enough to suffer the consequences! We won’t learn from our mistakes until we accept our part in them.

Proverbs 26:11 As a dog returns to its vomit, so a fool repeats his foolishness.

We all know the person that never wants to “own” up to their mistakes or shortcomings. They want to blame “The bad guy”; The cop who shouldn’t have been there, The guy for pressing them to do it, The girl who handed them the drug! We made the choice… we had to decide whether or not we wanted walk on the side of our values or not. When we chose wrong we immediately want to blame.(because it can’t be me of course).

Okay we all know that person, but let’s be honest! The reason we know that person is because we are that person. We have to take responsibility and then learn from our mistakes. Hopefully my son learned that if HE makes a poor choice it’s on him. It is because of what he did.

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When we play the blame game we never learn, when we don’t learn we keep making the same mistakes and blaming something else. Do yourself a favor! take it from me, The “bad guy”, learn to admit when you are wrong and made a mistake or made a poor choice sooner rather than later.then you will be happier like this guy!

 

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Battlefield normalcy

I always say it… It’s the little things that matter.

There we were standing, ready, prepared to take on the world. I had my toolbag in hand, some call it a diaper bag, others call it necessary tools for success. Nothing could stop us. It was us against the world, and the world was about to lose. We knew our goal. We knew the outcome before we started. We would succeed, we had to succeed! There was no turning back now and only cowards knew the way anyway. We trudged forward… Determined! I started up the engine. With a few quick short bursts it ferociously roared to life. The gentle purr of the engine a precursor to the explosiveness that lay dormant, ready to take flight if need be…

So I gently revved the engine of the little white mini van as I made up some random song to sing my baby son. (he enjoyed it)

That’s right, there was no speech, no last words that inspire thousands to die on the battlefield of nobility. There was no loud cheers to spur a dead sprint to face the enemy and possibly eternity. It was just Saturday morning. It was a normal day. It was me and my son. We would spend the day together. A day that we would most likely soon forget. Jumbled together with the hundreds of other days just like it. What makes this day so special you ask? Ah hah now I knew I had you at hello! The truth is there may not be anything that makes it note-able. But… Special… it is (a little Yoda-esque no?) I have time with my son, time I would never get back if I missed. Time I would always regret if I didn’t take advantage of it. So take advantage… I did (Yoda laugh)

You see time is something we can’t get enough of and always need more of. I spent the day, laughing, singing, feeding, playing, smiling, and loving my son. All of those things are so little, All of those things aren’t the things that we sit down and plan out. They just happen throughout the course of a day. Couple them with thousands more just like them and we have something that is memorable… Something that is to be cherished.

That is a life that is spent on what really matters. I look at my son daily and thank God for such an awesome person to share my life with. He has forever changed the way I look at the world. For as long as I can I hope to have as many uneventful days like I did this Saturday. Ones where we are just living life together and laughing a lot in the process. That’s my prayer today. That I don’t take the little things for granted.

And I beg you my friend… don’t you either!

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a Post about Nothing

For the first time in I can’t remember i looked at my calendar this week and there it was staring staring me in the face, taunting me even! It was… nothing.

My week was free (for the most part). No appointments, no song preps, no plans. Ahhhh, how will I survive!!!

My first thought was, “What am I going to do?” i know… crazy, right! Life is crazy and it only gets crazier. Why do we always feel that we have to fill all our free time with something. We can be frantic (as I was) to fill it with anything.

I am not a lazy person but I do enjoy the occasional free day,uhh… I think! Its refreshing. But only if we let it be.

I came home from work Monday night after deciding to embrace the day, Carpe Diem! I had all night and I was going to give it to my son and wife. There I sat periodically wondering where my phone was and then remembering, oh yeah I put it away. In my brief down moments my mind immediately began racing trying to figure out something to do! You have been there right? (tell me I am not alone) It didn’t feel right not having my phone, not running from place to place , and actually having room to breathe. I have to tell you, a conversation is so much easier understood when there is no phone in your face! Can I get an Amen!

Maybe it is the thrill of the chase I enjoy. Maybe it is the feeling of accomplishment I get when I know I did it! Whatever IT may be.

So now here I found myself sitting on the bench. But… But… Who is in the game? Won’t the world stop spinning if I take a day off?

No… It won’t, and the truth of the matter is your checklist will never be done, there will always be something else to do.

As I sat there that night playing with my son I soon forgot about my phone, and all the things I needed to get done. I no longer felt compelled to do something with my day. I gave him all of me and I don’t regret a single second. As I layed him in bed last night, I wished the day was longer and we had more time!

I think of all that I would have missed if I chose to give in and waste my night by choosing lists over my son.

 I know that years from now when my son is older I won’t remember another busy night. I know I will always remember when we played so long and laughed so hard until he sat in my lap hugged me and began to fall asleep. THAT… I WILL NEVER forget!

Today, embrace your free time. It is precious, it is an endangered commodity in this life. It shouldn’t be taken for granted or wasted with minuscule details. Fight the urge to fill up every moment with something and enjoy the nothing. And if you don’t have any free time, then its time to make some,  and if you are a list person, then put it on your list and take pleasure on crossing it off.

Remember your purpose!

Mr. Dad

Good night

There I was sitting down waiting for Alyssa to get ready. A decision had to be made. Not “The decision” like Lebron. It was an important one for me though. I had no plans, nothing to do, and nowhere to go. She was leaving for a “girly” party. You know the type right?… The kind that only women go to, because only women would ever want to go. Imagine this… Here is the invitation… Alright Men, Save the date because this friday we are going to get together and sit and shop in my living room.  Alright who is in!!! Yea that’s never going to go down. But the ladies love it so more power to them. So my dilemma had nothing to do with the party actually.

She said she was going to bring my son Julian with her. Sweet right? As I sat and thought about it, I knew that this would be an opportunity for me to prefer my wife and be a little less selfish… Continue reading

Who’s your Daddy…

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Before Julian (my Son) was born all the fathers that I talked to told me that it would be the greatest experience of my life. I didn’t know what to think and to be honest I didn’t feel much of anything… Yet.
It was a freezing cold dreary morning. I got out of bed and went through my normal routine. I was unusually awake and although I knew that at any moment Alyssa could tell me “it’s time” I didn’t think much of it. I started my normal work routine and was listening to some songs on my phone through my radio. The song turned off and I thought it was strange but kept working. I then Heard the ringing of the company phone over the loud speaker…

Strange, I thought, who would call the shop this early. That’s when It clicked in my mind. “Its TIME you dummy”. Needless to say, the next 6 hours were a blurr and then He (Julian Arredondo… who needs a middle name, really) was here. It was the moment that we had waited for and it was finally here. Words cannot express the joy that I felt when I held him in my arms. I held back the tears just thinking about it all. Alyssa was amazing going through delivery (Thank You God for making me a man). We both sat back later and enjoyed our new and perfect blessing. That was a Good Friday… Continue reading