Say hello to the bad guy:part 2

If you want to know WHY I am the bad guy you can read part 1 here

In my last post I mentioned that I had to teach my son about choices and consequences. He made a poor decision and much to his dismay, he had to endure the consequences for those actions.

He was undoubtably wrong in choosing to defame the wall of his father. But what did he immediately do?

He blamed!

All he knew was he got in trouble, so he blamed his father for being the bad guy! His father must have wanted him to get a spanking, his father wanted him to be in time out. His father was being mean and bad by disciplining him.

The fact that he made a wrong choice was overshadowed by the consequence of it.

He forgot it was his poor judgement that put him in that place.

He FAILED to take responsibility! I know I know he’s three he has much to learn. How can we relate?

You see, it’s not enough to suffer the consequences! We won’t learn from our mistakes until we accept our part in them.

Proverbs 26:11 As a dog returns to its vomit, so a fool repeats his foolishness.

We all know the person that never wants to “own” up to their mistakes or shortcomings. They want to blame “The bad guy”; The cop who shouldn’t have been there, The guy for pressing them to do it, The girl who handed them the drug! We made the choice… we had to decide whether or not we wanted walk on the side of our values or not. When we chose wrong we immediately want to blame.(because it can’t be me of course).

Okay we all know that person, but let’s be honest! The reason we know that person is because we are that person. We have to take responsibility and then learn from our mistakes. Hopefully my son learned that if HE makes a poor choice it’s on him. It is because of what he did.

photo (4)

When we play the blame game we never learn, when we don’t learn we keep making the same mistakes and blaming something else. Do yourself a favor! take it from me, The “bad guy”, learn to admit when you are wrong and made a mistake or made a poor choice sooner rather than later.then you will be happier like this guy!



Say hello to the bad guy?!? part 1

Yep that’s me… The bad guy! Allow me to explain…

It was a normal day… I was hanging out with my family working on a project. My son as smart as he is knows that writing on the wall=bad. So being the testy young lad that he is, having a momentary lapse in judgement, he decided it was a GOOD idea to write on the wall with a pen. I told him with all the love a father could “where’s your head son”(not a direct quote but gets the point across). After some persuasion, He then agreed with me that he would no longer write on any walls. We had a gentlemen’s agreement, if you will!

A while later the strapping young lad had a pen in his hand and his mother, in her gentle motherly way reminded him of his fathers words and not to write on the wall.

This is the point we all can relate to!
He had his pen so close to the wall and wheels were spinning! He had to make a CHOICE!

photo (3)Needless to say… he chose wrong.

He ultimately suffered the consequences and after a few minutes and tears streaming he stood up and with a hint of tears still in his eyes he looked at me and said it “Dad you’re a bad guy”.

I took him in my arms and asked him why he was in trouble and he admitted that HE made a wrong choice. I reminded him that every choice he makes has a consequence, good and bad, and if makes a choice he has to deal with those consequences and accept responsibility for them.

How many times have I held the pen?

Knowing what was right and what was wrong

Knowing that the path I choose might not end well for me

Knowingly standing in the place right next to the very wall that I never needed to be any where near.

Knowingly disregarding sound, WISE, advice to do what I know in my heart I should do.

How often do I play with a little fire and don’t get burned, It was warm sure, But I could handle it. The fire was tempting and I made it through. The little bit didn’t hurt. Convincing me I can “Handle” what God says I don’t even need.

As followers of God we accept the fact that God will always be there in the midst of the fire and often forget to Take RESPONSIBILITY at times for being in it. Sure there are circumstances beyond our control, That is not what I am talking about this time.

Maybe you are playing with Fire (or a pen) and you know you shouldn’t. You have gotten burned in the past but you think you can handle it now.

Take it from the Bad Guy, Don’t willingly choose to walk towards what God has already redeemed you from. If you and I are going to choose, Choose to walk closer to God.


When the grass clippings settle

I woke up early at 6am and hit snooze… Eventually you have to come to grip with reality that the morning is here, it’s not a dream and you get out of bed. I am just about to leave and look out my door and see my daughter. 1 year old standing in her crib, quietly looking out her door. She sees me and starts saying over and over in her adorable little baby voice, “dayya, dayya…”

Who could resist it, not a soul on earth. I pick her up and she smiles and laughs and snuggles her little head onto my shoulder. Who wakes up this joyous? I mean really? How could my day not be better already with this magnificent send off. But alas I must leave and go to work… I hear her in the background as I walk out the door… Dayya, Dayya…

I put in my last intern shift and come home at 4, with just enough time to change and run out the door to mow the lawn. As I make my front lawn pass I see a familiar little ray of sunshine standing at the front door!! She is so happy she starts dancing and I see her lips moving saying … Dayya, Dayya… I wave at her and say “HI, baby!!!” and she starts to dance more and runs away to share her excitement with someone else! I see her back again at my next pass waving and saying “hi dayya”

Eventually the lawn is mowed and I have to leave for work at 5, I come in and see my baby girl come running at me with arms wide open! She sits in my arms. She doesn’t want me to talk to her, she doesn’t want to talk to me. She just wants me to be there with her. She gets down and runs right back! I hug her again and start to leave for work. Then she starts following me with her arms open, in a frenzie, beginning to cry …Dayya, Dayya…

At this point I can’t simply walk away… My heart is literally broken as I watch her come running to me! Again she doesn’t want me to do anything… Just be there! So once I again I muster up the strength to walk out the door for work knowingly breaking my baby girls heart in the process. This time she frantically grabs her big diaper bag … “Dayya,Dayya”and tries to go out the door with me as if to say “fine if you insist on leaving where I am, I will go where you are!? Such persistence!!! I gave her a big hug and ran out the door!! Wow what a jerk I am right!

Eventually I came home at 1030 and she was awake and crying, I walked in the door scooped her tired little self up… She immediately rested her little head on my shoulder and stopped crying! I rubbed her back for a minute and laid her in her bed. She went to sleep as joyous as she woke up!

I know I missed a lot, i can literally tear up thinking about it, but in my small little moments I had with her today, I was just reminded that above anything else the most important thing I could ever give her is to just be there!!

Just be there!


Battlefield normalcy

I always say it… It’s the little things that matter.

There we were standing, ready, prepared to take on the world. I had my toolbag in hand, some call it a diaper bag, others call it necessary tools for success. Nothing could stop us. It was us against the world, and the world was about to lose. We knew our goal. We knew the outcome before we started. We would succeed, we had to succeed! There was no turning back now and only cowards knew the way anyway. We trudged forward… Determined! I started up the engine. With a few quick short bursts it ferociously roared to life. The gentle purr of the engine a precursor to the explosiveness that lay dormant, ready to take flight if need be…

So I gently revved the engine of the little white mini van as I made up some random song to sing my baby son. (he enjoyed it)

That’s right, there was no speech, no last words that inspire thousands to die on the battlefield of nobility. There was no loud cheers to spur a dead sprint to face the enemy and possibly eternity. It was just Saturday morning. It was a normal day. It was me and my son. We would spend the day together. A day that we would most likely soon forget. Jumbled together with the hundreds of other days just like it. What makes this day so special you ask? Ah hah now I knew I had you at hello! The truth is there may not be anything that makes it note-able. But… Special… it is (a little Yoda-esque no?) I have time with my son, time I would never get back if I missed. Time I would always regret if I didn’t take advantage of it. So take advantage… I did (Yoda laugh)

You see time is something we can’t get enough of and always need more of. I spent the day, laughing, singing, feeding, playing, smiling, and loving my son. All of those things are so little, All of those things aren’t the things that we sit down and plan out. They just happen throughout the course of a day. Couple them with thousands more just like them and we have something that is memorable… Something that is to be cherished.

That is a life that is spent on what really matters. I look at my son daily and thank God for such an awesome person to share my life with. He has forever changed the way I look at the world. For as long as I can I hope to have as many uneventful days like I did this Saturday. Ones where we are just living life together and laughing a lot in the process. That’s my prayer today. That I don’t take the little things for granted.

And I beg you my friend… don’t you either!